There are so many questions out there to reflect ourselves. What we love has a lot to say about who we are at any given moment and sometimes even about the person who we want to be. Having read many of them I was positively surprised to find the question of “What are your favorite movies” in John P. Strelecky’s book “How to be rich and happy”. Ever since I read this question it has been coming up again and again. The answer has a lot to say about the person who I have been, still are and maybe will keep on being.
I love movies that tell deep emotional stories about loss and letting go.
At first it surprised me, than I put it aside as obvious. Having a history of loss and letting go this was to be expected, wasn’t it? Only on a further investigation I realized that it doesn’t have to be this way. Neither of my siblings, who both share my history, are into this kind of movie. One of them even avoids them like an infectious disease. So what makes me love movies like Finding Neverland, My Sisters Keeper, The Last Song, Life As A House or The Fault In Our Stars, to name a few? What does it tell about me? Is it that I love to cry? Do I like to relive the pain of my past? And if this is true what do I learn about myself from this?
Staying on the surface of the subject by merely looking at my observations didn’t get me an inch further to getting to know myself better. What could be a different approach? Which angle could I take to get a new view on the subject at hand? I started to put down all the stuff that these movies were about. And yes all of these movies are about loss and letting go. They are also about the skills one needs to cope with both of them.
All these movies are also about love and connection.
In every one of those movies people have the courage to love, to connect deeply and sincerely, to open up and be hurt. The way to get hurt is to be open, to love, to try and risk failing. It is also the way to be alive, to feel, to witness the magic we call life. The truth is that my history of loss and letting go is at the same time a history of courage. The courage to connect, be open, be vulnerable and yes of falling down and being hurt. We all fall down at some point, we all get hurt, we all have experiences of loss and letting go. The big question is how do we cope with it? Do we stay on the floor or do we get up again?
I have a history of getting up again.
I may be lying on the floor right now, not knowing what to do, where to go or even who I am, but I know that I will get up again and take another step. This is part of who I am just as my history of loss and letting go. As Gunter Pauli pointed out in his keynote at the Entrepreneurship Summit last month in Berlin: All the shit that is happening to you now is the starting ground for your later greatness.
This isn’t going to be consoling in the moment you are standing knee deep in the mud of your own swamp of misery. And we usually only see the strengths in our so-called mistakes, weaknesses or crises years later, if ever. It requires us to be courageous, to reflect and actively as well as consciously deal with all this negative or shadow stuff.
You know how it is to be in this place, to feel it, to live it, to walk through it. You are a guide and a light to everyone who treads this path after you. You have the ability to lend a hand and be the so needed companion on the road through emotional turmoil, life’s deep ends and the cycle of growth.
In the last few months I have been actively learning more and more about my shadows and the light they can be to others. My companion on this road is and has been for a while my amazing friend Lina. She is a superhero in the are of shadow work and has dedicated her blog “Disobey With Grace” to this powerful subject. I am so grateful to have someone to go this way with me and honored to be of help with my experiences.
Reflecting on the movies I love, I learned that I have the courage to feel deeply, to love and to connect.
Maybe it is time for you to have a look at the movies standing on your shelf or sitting on your hard drive. What are the movies you love and what can they tell you about yourself? Or maybe you want to reflect on your shadows, the moments in history were you fell to your face and felt like you never would get up again. These moments of perceived weakness are moments of awakening and will lead you to growth and more strength. Just have a second look at them and try a new angle, it will have magical effects ;).